Pushing it.

Where do I start? It's been 5 days and I feel like I have so much on my mind. I am pushing myself to my limits right now. For starters, my first day at the doctors office was Monday. I didn't have to stay until 7pm, which was nice, since I worked the overnight on Sunday night and had to work the overnight on Monday also. I lasted most of Tuesday alright aside from a headache from being overtired. I fell asleep with The Bean at 7:30pm and pretty much stayed asleep until 6am Wednesday morning, rolled over and went back to sleep for a little over an hour more. The week went well, nothing major. I think I have got the hang of most of the work, but couldn't do it on my own yet. It's a lot of phone calls and a very busy practice. I am back at work at the hotel doing another overnight shift. My fiance has work 9am until 10pm tomorrow so I'll be up with the kids all day and then have to work Saturday overnight. It's going to be rough; my week looks something like: Sunday into Monday, Monday day, Monday into Tuesday, Tuesday day, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday day, Friday into Saturday, Saturday into Sunday. That is 72 hours in a 6 1/2 day period. I am definitely not interested in doing this for very long. I told my manager that I would like for my last weekend here at the hotel to be the weekend before Thanksgiving, which actually gives her an additional 5 weeks to find someone, not including this one. I was thought it was only 4. I was going to try to go up and visit my dad Thanksgiving weekend. There is no work at the doctors office Thursday or Friday, so I thought if I head up on Wednesday then I could stay until Sunday. That's a lot of time. Though I think I would get a hotel room. I was going to ask both of my brothers if they want to join me and The Bean. It would also help in splitting the room cost. Four nights, even at a cheap motel, adds up. I would get a hotel room because I wouldn't want The Bean around smoking inside. I don't even like that my in-laws smoke around the kids outside and he breathes it in. So I know I don't want him around it for 5 days. Plus, it will be colder so we won't be outside that much. And there is all the Third Hand Smoke on the couch, in the rugs, on the bedding, even if my dad and brother were to agree not to smoke inside while he was there (which they wouldn't). Usually he is hunting then, but if we go up, maybe he wouldn't go. It'd be nice if he put us before hunting once in a while.

Little Miss is going to turn 11 on Sunday. I can hardly believe it. We are hopefully taking her apple picking on Sunday and then having a family dinner for her that evening. Her dad has work though, but he was at least able to get coverage for the afternoon/evening part of his shift so he could be there for the dinner. There are a few things I have trouble with though. Her lack of effort in school really bothers me, but the lack of enforcement at her full time home bothers me more. She still doesn't sleep in her own bed, doesn't shower properly, and basically lacks in personal hygiene. What also really bugs me is that her mothers financial woes are a burden on her. No 10-11 year old child should even know their parents financial status, let alone be made to feel like the things they need are a burden. But hey, don't let me stop you if you would rather buy her an iPhone and then tell her you have no money for a posterboard for her school science project. I don't want to get into too much because I'd probably regret typing it later. I just hope Little Miss grows up seeing the difference between her two households and chooses to pull good habits from our side.

Happy Birthday, Little Miss!