Hurricane Irene has come and gone. The great hurricane disaster of 2011. They were anticipating damage similar to that of Hurricane Gloria from 1985, but I don't think it was as severe this time. Though NYC did close down all mass transit, which has never happened. Not only the MTA bus system, LIRR and ferry system, but also the subway system. Which has never happened since its inception. So they did expect some serious damage. They evacuated all low lieing areas like the south shore, the Rockaways, Long Beach and out east. Some areas have serious flooding, others look like they weathered a bad storm. We were very lucky and did not lose any power, no downed trees, no flooding. Some others on the Island were not so lucky, mostly those that live on the shores. Some lost homes, some have serious flooding, others have trees in their houses. As far as I have heard, no lives were lost on Long Island. I know that some people were killed in Hurricane related accidents before it his New York. My in-laws and their family own property upstate a bit. They received videos and photos of the area. The town in flooded by what looks like about 3 feet of water, at least. Main street turned into it's own river. One of the bridges looked like it had been swallowed by the river for a while. And they had gotten word that a couple of towns in that vicinity were pretty much gone. I feel very lucky that we did not deal with any level of devastation. My heart goes out to those who were not so lucky.
But I am grateful that we are not dealing with the same level of devastation as Hurricane Katrina, or the earthquakes in Haiti or Japan.
Well wishes to all.
Thanks for reading.
Peace & Love,
Emily
Monday, August 29, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Impending Doom
Perhaps I am being a bit cynical about it, but the meterologists are anticipating that Hurricane Irene will be a Category 3 storm. Working at the hotel, I have received so many calls about people wanting rooms because their towns have administered a voluntary evacuation. I witnessed many people reacting about this storm and thought to myself that they were over-reacting. Then I began to wonder if I should be reacting at least in some way. So I looked up more information about it, and am not quite sure that it will hit my area as hard as some are anticipating. But I am thinking that I should prepare in some way, just in case. My terrific little brother is coming over today for lunch so I will try to convince him to take me to the store to pick up a few things since I won't have the car today. I'm not really sure what to get though. Non-perishables, obviously, but everything in the house runs on electric so it has to be things that don't need to be cooked. And the only thing that makes me a bit nervous about the current situation is that my future in-laws house is an old farmhouse, including old farmhouse windows.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Progress?
I told my future mother-in-law about the oocyte donation and asked her if she would be willing to give me the injections if they had to be done at home. She told me she would have to think about it. She didn't seem to really like the idea of it. And to each their own, I mean. I guess I was just really hoping for support with this. But I also spoke with my fiance again about it. Even if she doesn't agree with it, I am still going to go through with it if I am approved. I'd really like to contribute something to help someone I may never meet. I want to have an impact on peoples' lives. And I know there are other ways, but I think this is just so special.
Anyway, keeping it brief because I have to jet.
Thanks for checking in.
Peace & Love,
Emily
Anyway, keeping it brief because I have to jet.
Thanks for checking in.
Peace & Love,
Emily
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Step by Step
3 days in a row?! What?! Eventually a little more color will join this blog with some photos. I just uploaded 2 of my SD cards onto a photo storing website. Over 2,000 pictures. And that's only in the last 2 months tops! At least I can say that about 800 of them were from our recent 3 day vacation (we took the kids to Great Adventure in New Jersey and stayed in Princeton for the 3 nights). That makes it better right? Or maybe it makes it worse. I have no idea, but my kids' lives will be extremely well documented, I can tell you that much!
I took two steps towards the ooycte donation today. The first one was speaking with my fiance when I got home from work in the morning. He's such a laid back guy and really had more of an outlook of "it's your body so it's up to you." I explained that I would probably really need his support while going through the process and he joked about getting a hotel while I am on hormones. He also expressed concern about side effects and possible complications. I did a lot of reading on several different websites, some hospital sites, clinic sites and a NYS site. I feel like I gained a significant amount of knowledge about the process. I also spoke with a very trusted friend about it. So I am trying to ensure that I have a support system. I also sent in my application to a clinic at a local hospital. I also printed out an application that has to be filled out by hand for a local clinic. Both are very well known and upstanding businesses so I'm not worried about that. It is a bit nerve racking though. I'm anxious about it, but in a good way also. I'm looking forward to being able to help people.
Helping people is why I want to be in the medical field in the first place. I want to have a positive influence on peoples' lives. An impact on my society. And even if it's only very local, even if I am only making a difference in one persons day, I feel like that is successful. You never know what someone else is going through in their personal lives. Maybe your kindness or just a friendly smile will help someone realize that maybe things aren't so bad. Maybe helping someone have a more positive outlook would change the course of that persons life for the better. Those who have positive influences on our society have done so because someone had a positive influence on them. Every little bit helps.
Maybe that is why I think manners are so important. You know, saying "please," "thank you" and "you're welcome", holding the door open for someone else that is coming through, giving up your seat for someone else who really needs it, not cutting off someone in the lane next to you... I could probably go on and on. But I won't.
On another note, tomorrow I go to a local medical office to apply for a job that might be opening up (thank you, insider information). Hopefully that will go well. I've heard wonderful things about the doctor there. And, in my opinion, a small office that keeps it's employees for 15+ years has got to be doing something right. And I want to be a part of it.
I've also been trying to do some work on some ideas for kids clothing. My girlfriend and I are going to try to start a little business. We've got some cute ideas so I can hardly wait until we really get cracking. My goal for this project is to make at least 5 pieces a week each from now through... whenever really. I'd like to start to become a vendor at local craft fairs next year sometime. Maybe late spring, but definitely by summertime. If we are each making 5 a week, then we are looking at at least 40 pieces each month. It's the end of August now, so even if we say we are starting September 1st (even though we have already started), then by May, we should have about 320 pieces. That is a tremendous amount. It would be outstanding to go to a craft fair with all of that product and sell our wares. I love crafting and I am pretty proud of it. I know it's super popular right now so it makes it a bit competitive unfortunately. Which then makes me question how cute the things I make really are. But I think that the more we make, the better we will be at it anyway. And if I keep a positive attitude, maybe our situation will take a positive turn!
Fingers crossed that things start to come together!
Thanks for reading.
Peace & Love,
Emily
I took two steps towards the ooycte donation today. The first one was speaking with my fiance when I got home from work in the morning. He's such a laid back guy and really had more of an outlook of "it's your body so it's up to you." I explained that I would probably really need his support while going through the process and he joked about getting a hotel while I am on hormones. He also expressed concern about side effects and possible complications. I did a lot of reading on several different websites, some hospital sites, clinic sites and a NYS site. I feel like I gained a significant amount of knowledge about the process. I also spoke with a very trusted friend about it. So I am trying to ensure that I have a support system. I also sent in my application to a clinic at a local hospital. I also printed out an application that has to be filled out by hand for a local clinic. Both are very well known and upstanding businesses so I'm not worried about that. It is a bit nerve racking though. I'm anxious about it, but in a good way also. I'm looking forward to being able to help people.
Helping people is why I want to be in the medical field in the first place. I want to have a positive influence on peoples' lives. An impact on my society. And even if it's only very local, even if I am only making a difference in one persons day, I feel like that is successful. You never know what someone else is going through in their personal lives. Maybe your kindness or just a friendly smile will help someone realize that maybe things aren't so bad. Maybe helping someone have a more positive outlook would change the course of that persons life for the better. Those who have positive influences on our society have done so because someone had a positive influence on them. Every little bit helps.
Maybe that is why I think manners are so important. You know, saying "please," "thank you" and "you're welcome", holding the door open for someone else that is coming through, giving up your seat for someone else who really needs it, not cutting off someone in the lane next to you... I could probably go on and on. But I won't.
On another note, tomorrow I go to a local medical office to apply for a job that might be opening up (thank you, insider information). Hopefully that will go well. I've heard wonderful things about the doctor there. And, in my opinion, a small office that keeps it's employees for 15+ years has got to be doing something right. And I want to be a part of it.
I've also been trying to do some work on some ideas for kids clothing. My girlfriend and I are going to try to start a little business. We've got some cute ideas so I can hardly wait until we really get cracking. My goal for this project is to make at least 5 pieces a week each from now through... whenever really. I'd like to start to become a vendor at local craft fairs next year sometime. Maybe late spring, but definitely by summertime. If we are each making 5 a week, then we are looking at at least 40 pieces each month. It's the end of August now, so even if we say we are starting September 1st (even though we have already started), then by May, we should have about 320 pieces. That is a tremendous amount. It would be outstanding to go to a craft fair with all of that product and sell our wares. I love crafting and I am pretty proud of it. I know it's super popular right now so it makes it a bit competitive unfortunately. Which then makes me question how cute the things I make really are. But I think that the more we make, the better we will be at it anyway. And if I keep a positive attitude, maybe our situation will take a positive turn!
Fingers crossed that things start to come together!
Thanks for reading.
Peace & Love,
Emily
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Realizations
It's early morning, about 5a.m., and I'm at work thinking about this blog when an episode of Franklin pops into my head. Franklin is a show my son watches on NickJr. A quick reminder: my son is not quite 2 yet. I wasn't thinking of my little boy or television. I was thinking how I have so many thoughts going through my head and I need to get them all down. And that I know I promised to write once a week (at a minimum), but if I write several days in a row, does that mean that I can have a bit of leeway and not write for a few weeks? Not that I don't want to write, buuut just in case I fall behind. The reason it reminds me of Franklin is because in an episode where Franklin (a cartoon turtle) and his best friend Bear (creative name for a bear, huh?) bake cookies, they are supposed to be learning moderation: one cookie a day. But then they eat tomorrows cookie, and the next day, and reason it by saying that they will just not have cookies those days. So one of my realizations is that I am getting too old too quickly. And maybe my son watches too much television. To be perfectly honest, I think it bothers me more than anyone else. I am not a tv-watcher. If I could not have a television in my home, I would. My fiance won't quite go with that, though. So me not being much of a television person, I vowed to not let my kid watch too much tv! And here we are, singing and dancing to the songs, saying the lines before the characters. And all I can think is "Oy vey! How did I let this happen?" Am I just trying to make myself feel better by reasoning that they are educational? Probably.
Another more serious realization is that I put too much pressure on my fiance. I'm so concerned with his self-esteem and how it factors into him not following up on job applications or not advancing to a better place, that I'm not trying to help him boost his self-esteem. What kind of partner am I? A frustrated one, for sure. But does that mean I should just give up on someone? I don't really think so. Maybe I should stop expecting so much of him while I let myself slack off. So the first thing I have to do is get my self together. Exactly how am I going to do this though? Well, honestly I think it's going to be a long process. A very long process. Since it would seem that going back to school is nearly out of the question in respect to the near future, I have been trying to get a job working at a medical office. My hope is that with this addition of recent medical work to my resume, I will have a higher chance of getting into a radiation onocology clinic: where I would truely love to work. My goal is that upon working in a Rad. Onc. clinic I will be able to go back to school to be a radiation therapist (treating cancer patients), hopefully paid for by the clinic. Ideally, it would be schooling for medical dosimetry (planning the radiation therapy), but considering there are currently only 16 accredited colleges in the country for that field, I'm keeping my hopes low on that one. So if I become a certified Radiation Therapist, then I can work my way into training under a Medical Dosimetrist. And after a certain number of years of training, I can take the certification exam to become a Medical Dosimetrist without having to attend one of the very few, very competitive programs. Unfortunately, this is about a 5-10 year plan. I'm hoping more on the 5 year side. I wouldn't be incredibly let down if it took me 5-6 years.
So I have this long term plan, which my fiance totally supports. So how come I find myself being so hard on him? Maybe growing up, the whole idea of the beautiful house with a white fence, staying home to raise the kids while daddy brings home the bacon really screwed me for reality. He's trying hard, almost as hard as he can. I don't think he gives himself enough credit or has enough confidence in himself to know that he can do so much more, he can offer so much more. He's a loving, vibrant, personable guy who gets along with everyone. He goes above and beyond to learn everything he can about everything he is interested in. He has so much knowledge and so many interests. I just wish he knew all the great things he could do. And had the motivation/ambition to do them. Sometimes I feel like it's that saying "you can bring a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."
I've been talking to an old friend a lot lately. He's up all night and I'm up all night. So we just chat about politics and finances and nonsense. But we were talking the other night about the stock market. He's had quite a bit of luck with one move he makes each year. So I am considering maybe following his trend and seeing what happens. I'm not much of a gambler at all though, so it makes me quite nervous. Another thing we somehow got on the topic of was oocyte donation. I did a lot of reading about it and really think it is something I might want to consider. I've always considered being a surrogate mom. What an honor, don't you think? To be able to give someone the joy of having a child. To be such a big part of it. So why not oocyte donation. It's less of a commitment, really. And you can possibly help even more people than becoming a surrogate. I know that there are health risks involved. And I know it is very demanding. But it wouldn't prohibit me from having more children in the future, which is important to me. I read that it can be hard emotionally and psychologically, too. To know that there might be a little person out there that is genetically your child. It might throw you for a loop. But I think I would like to do more of an open donation, where you can actually have a realtionship with the parents and child. I think that would be really neat. A sort of extended family. Definitely not a decision to make on my own though. Lots of little demands to consider.
Thanks for reading.
Peace & Love,
Emily
Another more serious realization is that I put too much pressure on my fiance. I'm so concerned with his self-esteem and how it factors into him not following up on job applications or not advancing to a better place, that I'm not trying to help him boost his self-esteem. What kind of partner am I? A frustrated one, for sure. But does that mean I should just give up on someone? I don't really think so. Maybe I should stop expecting so much of him while I let myself slack off. So the first thing I have to do is get my self together. Exactly how am I going to do this though? Well, honestly I think it's going to be a long process. A very long process. Since it would seem that going back to school is nearly out of the question in respect to the near future, I have been trying to get a job working at a medical office. My hope is that with this addition of recent medical work to my resume, I will have a higher chance of getting into a radiation onocology clinic: where I would truely love to work. My goal is that upon working in a Rad. Onc. clinic I will be able to go back to school to be a radiation therapist (treating cancer patients), hopefully paid for by the clinic. Ideally, it would be schooling for medical dosimetry (planning the radiation therapy), but considering there are currently only 16 accredited colleges in the country for that field, I'm keeping my hopes low on that one. So if I become a certified Radiation Therapist, then I can work my way into training under a Medical Dosimetrist. And after a certain number of years of training, I can take the certification exam to become a Medical Dosimetrist without having to attend one of the very few, very competitive programs. Unfortunately, this is about a 5-10 year plan. I'm hoping more on the 5 year side. I wouldn't be incredibly let down if it took me 5-6 years.
So I have this long term plan, which my fiance totally supports. So how come I find myself being so hard on him? Maybe growing up, the whole idea of the beautiful house with a white fence, staying home to raise the kids while daddy brings home the bacon really screwed me for reality. He's trying hard, almost as hard as he can. I don't think he gives himself enough credit or has enough confidence in himself to know that he can do so much more, he can offer so much more. He's a loving, vibrant, personable guy who gets along with everyone. He goes above and beyond to learn everything he can about everything he is interested in. He has so much knowledge and so many interests. I just wish he knew all the great things he could do. And had the motivation/ambition to do them. Sometimes I feel like it's that saying "you can bring a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."
I've been talking to an old friend a lot lately. He's up all night and I'm up all night. So we just chat about politics and finances and nonsense. But we were talking the other night about the stock market. He's had quite a bit of luck with one move he makes each year. So I am considering maybe following his trend and seeing what happens. I'm not much of a gambler at all though, so it makes me quite nervous. Another thing we somehow got on the topic of was oocyte donation. I did a lot of reading about it and really think it is something I might want to consider. I've always considered being a surrogate mom. What an honor, don't you think? To be able to give someone the joy of having a child. To be such a big part of it. So why not oocyte donation. It's less of a commitment, really. And you can possibly help even more people than becoming a surrogate. I know that there are health risks involved. And I know it is very demanding. But it wouldn't prohibit me from having more children in the future, which is important to me. I read that it can be hard emotionally and psychologically, too. To know that there might be a little person out there that is genetically your child. It might throw you for a loop. But I think I would like to do more of an open donation, where you can actually have a realtionship with the parents and child. I think that would be really neat. A sort of extended family. Definitely not a decision to make on my own though. Lots of little demands to consider.
Thanks for reading.
Peace & Love,
Emily
Monday, August 22, 2011
The Start of Something New
Well sort of. I began a blog about a year or so ago about making baby food for my son and our "adventures". It was a blast and it made me feel so great to be able to do that for him. Now he is almost 2 and my mommy-brain can't remember anything about that other blog! I always thought my mom remembered everything; where was her mommy-brain?
I guess this is as good a place as any to explain myself, who I am and why I'm here. I'm in my late twenties. My fiance and I have a son and like I mentioned, he will be 2 soon, in 2 months actually. I can hardly believe how time has flown. I also have a step-daughter who will be 11 in October as well. I say step-daughter, but technically she is not my step-daughter yet, it's just an easier classification I suppose. We currently live on Long Island. I work at a hotel as a Night Auditor, which means that I work overnights 11pm to 7am. A lot of people think it must really stink, but it really allows me to be a full time stay at home mom, too. I only end up missing out on about 3 hours of time a night, on average. I'll take it if it means I don't have to miss out on 9 hours during the day. And during the summer my step-daughter lives with us Monday through Friday, so I get to spend lots of tme doing fun things with her. Don't get me wrong, it's very tiring. I've been doing overnights for almost a year now. And then having both kids all day everyday (mostly), makes it tough. It's wearing on me big time.
This is not where I imagined my life to be at this point. I graduated college over 6 years ago with a Bachelors degree in Biology. And I'm working at a hotel, not by choice, but by necessity. I'm glad that I could get the job, especially in the current job market, don't get me wrong. But it's certainly not my passion.
Which I have a lot of, for many things. I love science. I love helping people. I also love photography and crafts. I like making people feel good. I love being outside int he fresh air, whether it's in the mountains or by the beach. But at the end of the day, I don't think I am fulfilling my dream for myself.
I've always known that I want to be a mom. But I want to be able to provide for my family. And I'm not able to do that right now. I mean, we had to move in with my future in-laws just to keep a roof over our heads. Definitely not where I pictured myself living. I know ideally I would go back to school. But I'm not so sure it's a good idea right now to take away my income. And then me little boy would have to go into daycare, which we've been avoiding at all costs. Not that I think anything is inherently wrong with daycare, but we really can't afford it and I'd rather have him home if it's possible.
Maybe writing this blog will help me get my head on straight. Figure out what I should be doing. Maybe people will read it and give me some feedback or insight. Maybe they won't. Either way, I'm going to try to keep up with it. I can't promise to one entry every day. My goal is at least one a week. We'll see what happens.
Wish me luck!
Thanks for reading.
Peace & Love,
Emily
I guess this is as good a place as any to explain myself, who I am and why I'm here. I'm in my late twenties. My fiance and I have a son and like I mentioned, he will be 2 soon, in 2 months actually. I can hardly believe how time has flown. I also have a step-daughter who will be 11 in October as well. I say step-daughter, but technically she is not my step-daughter yet, it's just an easier classification I suppose. We currently live on Long Island. I work at a hotel as a Night Auditor, which means that I work overnights 11pm to 7am. A lot of people think it must really stink, but it really allows me to be a full time stay at home mom, too. I only end up missing out on about 3 hours of time a night, on average. I'll take it if it means I don't have to miss out on 9 hours during the day. And during the summer my step-daughter lives with us Monday through Friday, so I get to spend lots of tme doing fun things with her. Don't get me wrong, it's very tiring. I've been doing overnights for almost a year now. And then having both kids all day everyday (mostly), makes it tough. It's wearing on me big time.
This is not where I imagined my life to be at this point. I graduated college over 6 years ago with a Bachelors degree in Biology. And I'm working at a hotel, not by choice, but by necessity. I'm glad that I could get the job, especially in the current job market, don't get me wrong. But it's certainly not my passion.
Which I have a lot of, for many things. I love science. I love helping people. I also love photography and crafts. I like making people feel good. I love being outside int he fresh air, whether it's in the mountains or by the beach. But at the end of the day, I don't think I am fulfilling my dream for myself.
I've always known that I want to be a mom. But I want to be able to provide for my family. And I'm not able to do that right now. I mean, we had to move in with my future in-laws just to keep a roof over our heads. Definitely not where I pictured myself living. I know ideally I would go back to school. But I'm not so sure it's a good idea right now to take away my income. And then me little boy would have to go into daycare, which we've been avoiding at all costs. Not that I think anything is inherently wrong with daycare, but we really can't afford it and I'd rather have him home if it's possible.
Maybe writing this blog will help me get my head on straight. Figure out what I should be doing. Maybe people will read it and give me some feedback or insight. Maybe they won't. Either way, I'm going to try to keep up with it. I can't promise to one entry every day. My goal is at least one a week. We'll see what happens.
Wish me luck!
Thanks for reading.
Peace & Love,
Emily
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