Self-importance

I wish I were more insightful. More inspirational/motivational. What does this blog do other than get my thoughts written out in front of me. I censor what I write on here anyway, so it's not as if I can be totally open and get everything off my chest. I read other blogs and love how some of the authors write and their insights and what they think and how they design. And maybe I'm just not quite there yet. Maybe it's because I just started writing. But I want to be more of the person I feel like I am, instead of just saying I am this type of person and not acting like it. Sure, I love the idea of living green and being eco-friendly and only buying local, etc. But those things are expensive and I can't afford it. I'd love to volunteer at soup kitchens or nursing homes or something like that, but saying I want to, and doing it are totally different. I quoted Ghandi the other day to my fiance saying "Be the change you wish to see in the world" and when he walked away, I felt like the biggest hipocrite because I am not doing that. I am finding all this time to be self-important and worry about my little circle. But in all of that time, I am not able to figure out where I can spend some of it having a positive effect on my society. I think this is such a problem. I need to make commitments to things bigger than myself and my family. How can I teach the importance of helping others without actually doing it? I want to DO something important with my life. I want to be able to look back and say, "Wow! I really helped a lot of people." I want to feel ... confident. Fulfilled.

Thanks for reading.
Peace & Love,
Emily