Well sort of. I began a blog about a year or so ago about making baby food for my son and our "adventures". It was a blast and it made me feel so great to be able to do that for him. Now he is almost 2 and my mommy-brain can't remember anything about that other blog! I always thought my mom remembered everything; where was her mommy-brain?
I guess this is as good a place as any to explain myself, who I am and why I'm here. I'm in my late twenties. My fiance and I have a son and like I mentioned, he will be 2 soon, in 2 months actually. I can hardly believe how time has flown. I also have a step-daughter who will be 11 in October as well. I say step-daughter, but technically she is not my step-daughter yet, it's just an easier classification I suppose. We currently live on Long Island. I work at a hotel as a Night Auditor, which means that I work overnights 11pm to 7am. A lot of people think it must really stink, but it really allows me to be a full time stay at home mom, too. I only end up missing out on about 3 hours of time a night, on average. I'll take it if it means I don't have to miss out on 9 hours during the day. And during the summer my step-daughter lives with us Monday through Friday, so I get to spend lots of tme doing fun things with her. Don't get me wrong, it's very tiring. I've been doing overnights for almost a year now. And then having both kids all day everyday (mostly), makes it tough. It's wearing on me big time.
This is not where I imagined my life to be at this point. I graduated college over 6 years ago with a Bachelors degree in Biology. And I'm working at a hotel, not by choice, but by necessity. I'm glad that I could get the job, especially in the current job market, don't get me wrong. But it's certainly not my passion.
Which I have a lot of, for many things. I love science. I love helping people. I also love photography and crafts. I like making people feel good. I love being outside int he fresh air, whether it's in the mountains or by the beach. But at the end of the day, I don't think I am fulfilling my dream for myself.
I've always known that I want to be a mom. But I want to be able to provide for my family. And I'm not able to do that right now. I mean, we had to move in with my future in-laws just to keep a roof over our heads. Definitely not where I pictured myself living. I know ideally I would go back to school. But I'm not so sure it's a good idea right now to take away my income. And then me little boy would have to go into daycare, which we've been avoiding at all costs. Not that I think anything is inherently wrong with daycare, but we really can't afford it and I'd rather have him home if it's possible.
Maybe writing this blog will help me get my head on straight. Figure out what I should be doing. Maybe people will read it and give me some feedback or insight. Maybe they won't. Either way, I'm going to try to keep up with it. I can't promise to one entry every day. My goal is at least one a week. We'll see what happens.
Wish me luck!
Thanks for reading.
Peace & Love,
Emily
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